Eleri Appointment

Princess of Wales Hospital, Bridgend, CF31 1RQ

Friday, 21 Sep 2018

From 10:00 to 12:00

 

The alert flashed up on my phone and in an instant the saliva seemed to evaporate from my mouth. I looked over the partition at James and Fiona opposite. They were chatting and giggling about something, but the sounds were vague and spongey in my head. I’d done no work yet, instead spending four hours opening and closing spreadsheets, typing a few words, deleting them again, scrolling up and down through PDFs. Anxiety is in charge now. Measure and reason are like neglected pets waiting to be fed. What if she stops developing? What if she has a degenerative disease? How will we explain to Sion that he once had an older sister who loved him very dearly? We’ll probably have to sell the house. The conversation with the doctor on Monday hadn’t helped.

‘It’s nothing immediately life threatening, but there could be complications further down the line’.

‘What kind of complications?’

’Well it’s rather…complicated I’m afraid. We’ll need to analyse the results in more detail before Friday’.

The image of a tiny coffin being lowered into the ground flashed in to my head so vividly yesterday, that I had burst in to tears and had to stop the car. I didn’t tell Sara about that.

I’m waiting for Eleri by the school gate. She smiles at me excitedly, waving a drawing that she’s done above her head as she skips all the way back to the car singing to herself. I promised her earlier in the week that we’d go to the trampoline park in town after school on Friday, and it’s all she talks about it for the whole drive home.